i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
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