dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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