take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
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