She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
