I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
