Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Randomize
