So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking ros�, bitch!
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
My bed smells like the plague
Randomize
