i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
