I have demons in me.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
