my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
