So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
