Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Randomize
