We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
