some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
So squirting runs in the family.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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