I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
