i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Randomize
