i would punch a child for taco bell
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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