Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I just found a bag of teeth...
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
My vagina just clenched in fear
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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