I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Randomize
