We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
