Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Pappa wants mamma naked
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
