just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Randomize
