Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Randomize
