I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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