my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
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