I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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