naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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