Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
