any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
there is glitter all over my balls
Randomize
