dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
