Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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