I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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