He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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