we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
