just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
