Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
