break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
