i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
