More tranny stories later!
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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