If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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