Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Damn victory sex feels great
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
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