So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Randomize
