it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
