I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
We're not piercing ourselves today.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
