It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
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