she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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