You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
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