Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize
