Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
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