How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
