oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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